My family has this place up in northern NH. They’ve owned it since I was born, so almost 21 years now. It’s nothing special, just a little trailer in a summer campground. I love it up there, matter of fact it’s my favorite place that I’ve ever been. I have had a lot of good memories there, great memories. Almost cliché memories....first time riding a bike, first time catching a fish, first time kissing a girl, first time I drank/smoked, etc. as you can imagine some of my best friends I have go up there.

So anyways this one summer, about 8 years ago I must have been around 12, a friend on our little "group" brings up a Ouija board. (I know I know I know, but we didn’t know what the hell we were doing). So all day were having a blast, I mean all friggin day we were playing with this thing into the night. It was so weird. It was like we were addicted. We'd go around in a circle, each person would take turns picking someone to talk to. There were about 4 of us. So after supper we met back down the dirt road in the middle of the woods and start playing with it again. It was my turn, and it hit me to ask to talk to my good mother who had passed on when I was around 7ish. My mother, who was my godmother’s niece, never told me how she died. I never asked, I was too young to think about it like that. Anyway so I asked to talk to my godmother and the first thing I asked was "how is heaven?" (I come from a very Boston Catholic Irish/Italian family) and she says "Bad" and I obviously ask "Why?" and she anwsered "Because I’m not in heaven" We all stopped and my three other friends looked up at me and I asked "where are you" and the the pointer spelled out "H-E-L-L" and my heart dropped into my stomach. I could feel my eyes tearing up because I was so anxious and nervous. I had to, I had to ask why? "Why are you in hell?" and she says "Because I killed myself" as you can imagine it freaked out all of us, not just me, and we stopped right then and there and I haven’t touched one since.

Now here's the clincher. The next day I’m sitting in the trailer, my ma and I asked her how my godmother died. My mom looked up from what she was doing very puzzled and shocked and she said "she took her life".